well once upon a time there was a foot, a friendly foot and it had twelve children and lived in a shoe (funny that) and this foot had a toe, a rather unsightly toe who had the ambition to grow up to be a beautiful swan like all the other toes. but this toe was just an ugly duckling (or "a duckling that is better judged on its personal merit rather than its physical appearance" if you want to be politically correct about it). Now this toe was in a little bit of finical trouble (seeing as all the inanimate objects in its house (shoe) had risen up against him under the orders of a new dark lord and constantly he would be battling things like his lamp, who would hop across his desk and beat him up or his book who would start nibbling on his fingers as he was reading (yes, toes both read and have fingers). Now the lamp was pretty easy to subdue as it was a bit of a wimp (or actively unmotivated to be politically correct) and all you had to do was stare it down and it would just pretend like it was cleaning its nails or fiddling with a pen or something. But due to the fact that the toe doesn’t actually have eyes (or is sightly challenged), he found it rather difficult to stare down the lamp, thus letting the lamp walk all over him and generally take advantage of him (not like that... GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!)
So anyway, here was this poor forsaken toe in the gutter, without any friends to judge him on either his physical appearance or personal merit (at this point he'd settle for either) when suddenly the sky opened and the almighty god (or goddess, from where we were standing it wasn’t exactly clear) of podiatry spoke to the toe and these were the words he spoke;
"Blame ye not on yourself ye faults or short coming, blame ye not others for that which they hath nothing to do with, blame all ye problems and faults on the toothbrush, ye toothbrush of hope and glory and ye shall find the way to salvation!" the toe then proceeded to do as the god-person said, and even got some of his children joining in on that act. The toe then felt better about himself and proceeded to score a television deal with pbs where he hosted a weekly tele-evangelist program proclaiming the power of the all-faultly toothbrush (Colgate have not comment on the matter). The toothbrush then went on to have serious emotional and self esteem problems and required counselling for the rest of his life (he could have sued the toe for lots of money to reimburse him for the counselling, as it was really was the toe’s fault after all but the toe had done such a good job of blaming the toothbrush that he really did believe everything was all his fault and that no one else should suffer for his short comings). The god-person proceeded to run off with many of the toe's children (they were all underage, but looked older so they got away with it). They all eloped (polygamy is legal in that state) and haven’t been heard from since.
and that, my friend, is my story.
thats a lovely story
i dont have anything that creative
though ill give it a go
poor toe, with fingers, but no eyes
well i suppose only have one not the other does prevent some unfortunate finger-eye-prodding episodes...
though it does mean you can see where to prod should you have the urge to have an unfortunate-finger-eye-prodding episode with someone else eye...
alas the price you pay
you are so completely weird
dont be jealous... its not me... its the voices... their currently running off with my toothbrush...
i hide all my creativity in my toothbrush if you curious...
once upon a time, as every good fairytale should begin, there lived a beautiful austounding wonderous girl, with simply amazing feet. And whilst it's true, that she did indeed live, it's not her this story is about.
It's more about the dirty unwanted unappealing girl with maimed feet who lived in another village in an unimportant, dirty town.
She had a friend, as many people do, who had wonderful feet. She did indeed love his feet, as well as the rest of him, but he, and his feet, wouldn't accept her as worthy enough to love back, desite their close friendship. Fed up with her silly life, and his silly ways, she dreamed of another life, and much better feet.
One day, our ugly maimed footed girl, whilst crossing the road to find the boy with the appealing foot whom she was crazy about, was hit by a bus and died.
blame the toothbrush, it's all the toothbrush's fault, the bus, the unloving, the maimedness... all of it.
then again in some strange display of logic and metaphoricness(most deffinatly a word) it is as logical that it is the toothbrush's fault as it is logic that it is anyone else involved or not's fault.
and is it just me or did that foot have a slight odour of autobiography (minus the bus?), not too pungent, but just a whip hitting the ole nostrils you know?
how perceptive you you
*gold star for lauren*
indeed *spanks toothbrush*
*squees, then places gold star on collar and runs off to show her mother*